Updated: Sep 21
Child rearing and child bearing costs for the family.
I don't know who I'm talking to, but some of us need to know that we cannot afford the emotional and mental health cost of childcare. Some of us need to know we cannot afford the emotional and psychological cost of raising a child. Some of us need to know there's much more to birth than the monetary cost.
Many blessings to those who have walked down this road or have come to be on this road after choosing the path of birth.
Much metta to those who have walked the path of pregnancy and birth to later learn there were simultaneous opportunities for deep healing also happening.
Much kindness and care to many who have suffered through pregnancy and postpartum with physical, emotional, and mental health struggles.
Much peace to you all.
This blog is a post about factoring in the psychological costs, the nonmonetary expenses, the infinite other that can appear when we move down the path of childbirth and childcare.
Our pent up generational and emotional trauma is factored in the cost.
Our collective societal trauma is also a part of the cost.
How we manage to work within that dynamic of cultural and socioeconomic injustice, trauma, violence, and community plays into how prepared we are individually and in our unit of support to bring children into the world.
There is much more to birth than eggs mingling with sperm, the formation of an embryo that grows, the development of womb, organs and internal body systems, the physical and psychological tolls of it all.
There's much more to consider than whether our bank account is big enough, our house is large enough, our baby supplies are ample enough, our birth plan is developed enough, our source of income has alloted for some time off to care for the newborn and/or to build a community of helpers.
Through birth, much more than a baby and a family is being born.
Through gestation, communities of culture and how they collectively manage caregiving and care for each other is being birthed or rooted out.
How the individual as well as the community collectively supports the individual who has undergone a major life event by birthing a being is born.
How this community collectively supports a family unit that has grown dimensionally and psychologically is important.
What will you give birth to?
Generational trauma? Unsettled grievances? Unease?
Or an evolution of mental health, physical health, and psychological support that extends beyond the individual and includes each member of this growing community including a newborn?
How will you evolve together?
Will you give birth to healthy patterns?
Will this community birth a system of healthy, interpersonal psychological regulation and healthy, supportive habits? Great wellness habits that are nourishing to both the individual family members as well as nourishing to the collective unit?
The cost of care is so much more than money.
Be mindful of how much of care you have to give over a lifetime of caring for self, for children, for family, and for collective communities.
Your work helps us all to heal.
Take good care of thy whole self, thy whole being, the heredity, and the new human being.