Love Thoughtfully

Don't Dehumanize

Don't objectify anyone when building friendships, dating, having sex, or making a commitment.

Remember, black women, black men, beings from the diaspora are people too.

The society we live in has also raised many to think the strong ones, the funny ones, the happy ones, the kind ones, the somber ones, people who identify as males, people who identify as mothers, and countless others are emotional fortresses designed to make other people feel good.

We are not comfort women. We are not comfort beings.

A Being is not a Conquest

Subjugation is not love.

What we do with what we learn from our lived experiences can ripple outward across humans, cultures, animals, other species, and ways of being, affecting generations to come.

What you learned is reflected in how you love.

Woke Up and Chose Non-Violence

Buy a nice person a venti latte. 

We are walking in the world, with all of its ratchetness, living among the most aggressively hate-filled people who attack some of us daily, and, we still chose kindness.

We can choose differently.

Thank a nice person.

Recipes Don't Lie.

I recently sampled cookies that tasted like brine. I threw them out.

Did the cook grab salt instead of sugar? Both ingredients look similar. Was it an accident or intentional? 

Some of us were raised to think salt is sugar. For example, some of us were raised to think acts of violence are kindness, teasing is a show of affection, ignoring someone is a declaration of love. None of these activities demonstrate love, kindness, or emotional maturity.

The good news: it's possible to reset the hard drive, rewiring neuro and psychological pathways to learn to love and to demonstrate love skillfully. It's possible to bake new cookies so that they taste as intended. 

Love thoughtfully.

Signed,

Karen'Nicole the Mindfulness Jedi